My heart is broken. I want to hug and encourage the people in my classrooms and in my world. The talks of their weekends and homes and lives make me want to scream out to them...To let them know how loved they are by their Creator, how BIG you are, how much more fulfilling and beautiful life can be.
How will they believe me when I have a hard time believing it myself? When my confidence isn't even a small speck in the sky? For a God so big, my faith is so small. My lust and desire for life has faded again and again like the sun. I cannot rely on a starry sky alone to keep me uplifted.
The grip I have on the thin thread I'm holding onto is loosening and there are times I cannot believe you will be there to catch me, God.
My ability to love cannot happen on its own; I keep trying and trying...and failing and failing.
Every room I walk into...I want you to breath on it. The pain and uselessness I feel is almost too much and I want you to expand inside my heart...your warm breath to melt the cold that has formed around it.
My focus is completely backward. I feel as though I'm suffocating inside this dark corner I've ran myself into, and I'm stuck. I don't want this. I never have, and I've gotten too good at making myself think I do. You are the only one who can free me from my chains and darkness...from my fears and failures...from my self-hatred and grudges against myself.
I'm opening my hands to feel you. My eyes to see your great light. My heart to know you and your love for me. Consume me in every possible way. Make me aware of how much bigger you are than my fear, insecurity, failures, darkness, grudges...
THIS IS MY HEART CRY. HEAR ME.
1 comment:
this is amzing liz
keep it hope
and may god bless you
Post a Comment