Heart Cry

I sit here and I'm longing for your presence to wrap around me and for your strong words to make it's circles around my heart. I wish I could feel you...
My heart is broken. I want to hug and encourage the people in my classrooms and in my world. The talks of their weekends and homes and lives make me want to scream out to them...To let them know how loved they are by their Creator, how BIG you are, how much more fulfilling and beautiful life can be.
How will they believe me when I have a hard time believing it myself? When my confidence isn't even a small speck in the sky? For a God so big, my faith is so small. My lust and desire for life has faded again and again like the sun. I cannot rely on a starry sky alone to keep me uplifted.
The grip I have on the thin thread I'm holding onto is loosening and there are times I cannot believe you will be there to catch me, God.
My ability to love cannot happen on its own; I keep trying and trying...and failing and failing.
Every room I walk into...I want you to breath on it. The pain and uselessness I feel is almost too much and I want you to expand inside my heart...your warm breath to melt the cold that has formed around it.
My focus is completely backward. I feel as though I'm suffocating inside this dark corner I've ran myself into, and I'm stuck. I don't want this. I never have, and I've gotten too good at making myself think I do. You are the only one who can free me from my chains and darkness...from my fears and failures...from my self-hatred and grudges against myself.
I'm opening my hands to feel you. My eyes to see your great light. My heart to know you and your love for me. Consume me in every possible way. Make me aware of how much bigger you are than my fear, insecurity, failures, darkness, grudges...

THIS IS MY HEART CRY. HEAR ME.

Robert Pattinson

The lead in Twilight (terrible books series...even worse movie. But that's just my opinion. Please...I don't want any angry mobs coming and killing me). Anyway, this dude SINGS. He is very attractive (more-so in Harry Potter than in Twilight. Again, just my opinion) but hearing him sing made him almost unbelievably attractive. Emily (best friend) and I were in AWE. Baffled, even. You look at him and would never in a million years think he could sing the way he does or sing (or write) the songs he does. I still cannot believe it.

Here's a preview: (ignore the dumb slide show...I'm just using this video for the song)


YEAAAA. I'm pretty impressed and amazed. Just thought I would share with the Blog world. Perhaps you are just as impressed as I am.

Peace
Liz

My, God. What a loyal and faithful One, you are.

I have a friend and life has given her some pretty bad scars and bruises. Giving up seems like the only option to her. She attempted suicide, but by the grace of God, she called 911 and was rushed to the hospital.

This hit me like a bus. One of my very good friends is at the end of her rope...almost killed herself. I felt like I had no words. I really didn't have any words. I prayed to God telling Him "God. I'm wrestling with crap in my own heart and I don't know what I can do or say!!! Lord, please help me!"

God, heard my cry and everything I could think of to say, came from scripture. OF COURSE! What a better way to encourage someone through words than from the word of God Himself! I also realized that everything I had gone through in life. Everytime life left me beat up and broken....was for this moment and for this girl and for others down the road just like this.

"And trust me...God hasn't given up. He really really hasn't. Dont forget. He is holding your hand. It may not be today or tomorrow or next week/month/year...but one day, everything will be bright and beautiful. Everything will make sense....it is in our Father's arms that things are no longer hazy or overwhelming or stressful or burdensome."

What a message of hope! Straight from God. Christ is STICKING UP FOR US. He is, He is! Right now at this very moment. His heart is breaking over your pain, but He has hope because He IS hope...and He knows how much his blood on the cross was worth.

Giving up hope.......
One of the worst things you can do.
DON'T GIVE UP. God hasn't given up. He understands her pain...OUR pain more than even we understand it. And it feels it too.

God-
No words...just gratitude and hope in you and who you are. I love you. Be with my friend. Continue to give me words and wisdom for her. Continue to teach me. I LOVE YOU. Help me, and her, and others to never give up.
Amen.

Peace
Liz

I'm always here for anyone that needs to talk. ALWAYS.

Post Secret

I'm sure a lot of you have heard about this by now. People send in their secrets to PostSecret and they post them on blogs and publish them in books. I read two of the books. My heart was broken afterwards. Here are a few I found.































Take some time to pray for these people. Check out the website: www.postsecret.com.
You can find the books at Borders if you are interested.

I'll add more occasionally. There are just some that can cut straight through, ya know? Crazy. So many people are hurting, but they are so good at pretending and keeping secrets. Just try to be more aware. You never know how much your smile or kind words can help someone.

Peace
Liz

Thanksgiving.

I'm overwhelmed by my thoughts.
But one sticks out: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.
God...I'm always in awe of you and how truly RADIANT you are.
Perfect.
Patient.
Love.
Glorious.
Wonderful.

GOD YOU ARE EVERYTHING.

I honestly cannot think of anything else right now.
Just your beauty.
And I thank you for not hiding it from me.
What a privilege.
I cannot think of anything in the world that I would rather have than just life with you and experiencing your NEVER ENDING, NEVER FAILING, EVER LASTING BEAUTY AND LOVE.

I can't get enough! I love you so much. Thank you, Lord. Thank you for saving my life and transforming me and for your blood. Thank you for moments like this. Thank you for listing to me. Thank you for holding my hand, wiping my tears...crying with me, celebrating with me, laughing with me, driving with me, walking with me, sitting with me, doing my homework with me....NEVER LEAVING MY SIDE. Thank you for our intimate friendship. Thank you for loving me and finding me beautiful...and seeing my beauty in it's truest form. Thank you, Lord...thank you. You are enough, you are beautiful. I couldn't ask for more or for better. I love you more than life.
Amen.

"How I long to be broken.
How I long to be near you.
How my heart skips beats when
your love accepts me as I am."

Walking With Us

I'm gonna try to keep this simple:
Jesus is with us. Every day, every second. Listening to us, speaking to us, holding our hand, standing behind us making sure to catch us when we fall.

"The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us." -Romans 8:36 (The Message)

I seriously cannot get over the fact that we have a God who will never EVER leave our side or give up on us...no matter how tough things get or how stubborn we are.
He is patient, loving, kind, understanding, forgiving, beautiful...everything!!!

This is just something that has become more real to me each day. Each day as I struggle in the world, I come upon joy and love as I live with God, because He humbles Himself to live within me and with me. I'm obsessed with this faith.

Just wanted to offer some encouragement to those who need it. Don't think for a second God doesn't love you or that He isn't with you, even in the darkest of times.

Peace
Liz

Close To Your Heart

This song says basically everything. Listen to the lyrics. Have a moment with God.



Peace
Liz

Be A Good Example

This is a commercial I saw today. It really encouraged me.



Peace
Liz

Lately

I have been so distracted and have been feeling very dis-connected, lately.
It's not because God is distant or isn't there...of course He is there. He's reaching out for my hand...
It's me that is the problem. I always try to do things on my own and then when everything falls apart, I become angry at God, building this wall around my heart.

I have the hardest time with surrender. I don't know if it's because I'm afraid, or if I don't understand it... or if I'm just more content and satisfied in holding onto everything. Like, I don't trust that God will help me or take on my burdens, even though He said He would. I'm not sure why I have a hard time with surrender, but I know that that is the only way things will begin to make sense again.

I'm not waiting on the Lord...I am HOPING in Him.
He knows what He is doing. He knows exactly how I feel. He cares...I/We need to trust completely in that.

Peace
Liz

Questions

Why?

Why is a question I have been asking myself a lot lately...and I never seem to have the answer, but I think that's a good thing actually.

I've been told my whole life that "Why" is such a bad question (and even questions in general), but WHY is "why" such a bad question??

I've been reading "Velvet Elvis" by Rob Bell and I am in LOVE with the first chapter, because of what he says about questions: "A Christian doesn't avoid the questions; a Christian embraces them. In fact, to truly pursue the living God, we have to see the need for questions. Questions are not scary. What is scary is when people don't have any."

Then he talks about this night he hosted at his church when people could anonymously ask any questions they want...and some where VERY deep and hard.
He goes onto say, "It wasn't the information that helped them--it was simply being in an environment in which they were free to voice what was inside. And this is why questions are so central to faith."

Asking questions means that we know we don't have all the answers. If we did then we wouldn't need God...and OF COURSE we all need God.
God wants us to ask questions! We need the questions to keep the pursuit of Him and to keep us longing for more of our mysterious, but very present God.

And sometimes, we don't even need the answer. Like, we just need to get SOMETHING out there in the open and be vulnerable.
I have found that some of my most vulnerable and intimate moments with God are when I am asking Him questions, even some out of anger. Asking things like "Why are you doing this God? Can you show me a sign? Where are you?"
Of course we need to trust God (which can be HARD, I know), but sometimes it's hard to trust without questions...does that make sense?
Like, we can ask God a question and He will reveal the answer...which BUILDS trust.

So, NEVER hold back from asking a question...from trying to understand God a little better or from pursuing Him.

Peace
Liz

"Questions produce learning." -Freddy Williams
(You got another quote, Freds!)

"Now show me your Glory."

I was reading Exodus 33 and Moses was talking to God about God's decision to have Moses lead his people out of Egypt. I won't go into the whole scripture (Although I encourage you to read it sometime!) But there is a part where Moses is asking God what will make him and his people different from everyone else and God says, "I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name." And then Moses says something that I find to be personally just amazing: "Now show me your glory." WOW. Can you even imagine what our lives could be like if we prayed that to God? Because after Moses says this God says to him, "I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. But you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live." And then God SHOW MOSES HIS GLORY.
Try and put yourself in Moses shoes at this very moment...
I have seen and experienced some pretty crazy things in my life, but I really don't think anything could compare to this. Not only is Moses literally talking to God, God reveals Himself to Him. The God who's glory is more that we can comprehend and more than we can handle!

What would happen if we told God, "Now show me your glory." ?
We have the opportunity to experience God. He's always there. He WANTS to reveal Himself to us! But we just aren't asking...we aren't pursuing.

"God wants to do some crazy things! He's just looking for people to do crazy things with him." -Freddy Williams

Peace
Liz

Phil Wickham

Josh told me about him the other day. I really really enjoy him.
You can download his album for free off his website: www.philwickham.com


I see Your face in every sunrise
The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes
The world awakens in the light of the day
I look up to the sky and say
You’re beautiful

I see Your power in the moonlit night
Where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright
We are amazed in the light of the stars
It’s all proclaiming who you are
You’re beautiful

I see you there hanging on a tree
You bled and then you died and then you rose again for me
Now you are sitting on Your heavenly throne
Soon we will be coming home
You’re beautiful

When we arrive at eternity’s shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We’ll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we’ll sing
You’re beautiful

I see Your face, I see Your face, I see Your face
You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful

My Friends Are Incredible.

Ryan:

"​Stop.​ You have lost NOTHI​NG.​
Intma​cy with God is somet​hing that you didnt​ lose,​ God is still​ right​ there​.​ Dont lose sight​ of him
You may have hurt yours​elf today​,​ and you may feel like you are sabot​aging​ yours​elf, but thats​ where​ Satan​ wants​ you.
But dont think​ for one secon​d that God does not see your despe​ratio​n,​ and that it hurts​ him to see you hurt. He is reach​ing.​ reach​ for him and grab his hand. Just becau​se you may have faile​d this time & faile​d today​,​ doesn​t mean that your intam​cy wasnt​ STRON​G.​ God is just teach​ing you somet​hing new to help stren​gthen​ you for tomor​row.​ But dont miss this momen​t of despe​ratio​n,​ of failu​re,​ of upset​, becau​se its when we rejoi​ce in the pain of Chris​t that we are renew​ed
2 Corin​thian​s 12:​9-​10"​

Serio​usly.​ The best frien​ds in the ENTIR​E world​.​

But I also have the best GOD ever. I really really really do...words cannot describe.

Today​ may have been horri​ble.​ A littl​e bit of my spiri​t may have been crush​ed,​ but that just allow​s my spiri​t to be renew​ed even more so than it was alive​ befor​e.​ It allow​s God to move in me in ways I never​ imagi​ned.​ It allow​s my intim​acy to grow and to fluri​sh and to matur​e like never​ befor​e.​

"​Don'​t run from suffe​ring.​ Embra​ce it." -​Luke 9:23

"​Consi​der it a sheer​ gift,​ frien​ds,​ when tests​ and chall​enges​ come at you from all sides​.​ You know that under​ press​ure,​ your faith​-​life is force​d into the open and shows​ its true color​s.​ So don'​t try to get out of anyth​ing prema​turel​y.​ Let it do its work so you becom​e matur​e and well-​devel​oped,​ not defic​ient in any way." -​James​ 1:​2-​3

I need you Jesus​
To come to my rescu​e.​
Where​ else can I go?

Captu​re me with grace​.​

I will follo​w you.

Peace
Liz

Moments

Driving home tonight, I was listening to "None But Jesus" byt Hillsong. It was absolutely GORGEOUS outside so I had the windows down, just feeling the breeze run through my hair and across my skin, belting those lyrics as loud as I can and just living in THAT moment. Nothing else was going on. It was just me and God and that song and that MOMENT.
Right now I am really focussed on simply just right now to live every moment, in the moment. Sometimes the craziness of life can get to us. We worry about the test next week, or our future or the girl/boy we like or...whatever. We often forget about God and that He is there because we are so beyond just THAT moment. The moment that God has given us. We can take that moment and do what we want with it...but I wanna do what God wants me to do with it. Every moment in our life is for a reason...I wanna live like I have a reason, a purpose, an INFLUENCE...I just wanna LIVE!

I needed tonight to remind me of the moments God is always giving me. To remind me also, that God is who He says He is. He's all that I need.

"All my delight is in you, Lord. All of my hope. All of my strength."

Live and be aware. God can so some crazy things!

Peace
Liz

I Miss...

I just miss childhood.
Just having that anticipation of a child.
The innocence.
No drama.
Feeling like you can do anything.
Waking up super early because you miss the sun.
Thinking that kisses on boo boos actually make them feel better.
Just loving others no matter what.
Nor caring what you look like or what others think of you.
Accepting everyone and being accepted.

Truly just having the perfect picture of what love is, without even realizing it...just living it!

Childhood is beautiful. I miss it...but I'm re-learning it.

Peace
Liz

99 Balloons

They showed this to us one Wednesday night, and tonight I have been reminded of it for some reason.
I thought I would share...It's just amazing.




WOW. How big is God to you? Is He enough?

Peace
Liz

p.s. I probably won't post much for a while. If I do, it'll just be whatever is encouraging me lately. Just kinda got a thing I'm working through right now...it's making it somewhat hard for me to try and encourage others or write blogs and stuff. I don't know if that made sense...maybe it's not supposed to make sense. But, I just wanted to let you know so you don't like, freak out...not that any of you would, but whatever!

Become Aware

Today I was watching What Woman Want (don't ask me why! It was just on!) Anyway, Mel Gibson's character, Nick has an accident and the result is that he can hear what woman are thinking. There is this one woman in the office where he works, named Erin. She is always thinking to herself things like, "I bet if I just jumped out the window, no one would notice. No one cares about me..." When Nick hears these things, he has a choice: He can ignore them, or he can help her.
In the end of the movie, he ends up saving her life and making her feel like she is of worth.

As I was watching this, I couldn't help but think to myself "how many people like do I come into contact with everyday that are like Erin?"

We need to become more AWARE. I know I keep saying this, but I wouldn't always talk about it if it wasn't IMPORTANT!
I know that Mel Gibson had an advantage...being able to hear womens thoughts and all, but seriously, there are more people crying out for help than you realize and most of the time it is pretty obvious...we just aren't taking the time to listen and to be aware.

What about the person in your math class who is always telling the girl next to her her personal problems? I'm sure she wants others to heat her so she can get help! Or at least we can take a few minutes of our time to pray for her...or go out of our way to turn around and give her some encouraging words or advice. Just so she knows that there is still LOVE in the world and that people still care.

Just start each day with a small prayer to help God make you aware. You will surprise yourself with how easily the love with come. All the Erin's out there need us....the world needs us.

Peace
Liz

All We Want

We hunger and thirst for you
In a dry and weary land.
Cause all we want is you, is you.

ALL WE WANT IS YOU, LORD.

The Heart of Why

As I see all of the hurting people around me and that I come into contact with, I can't help but wonder why? We can't just simply blame our hurts on depression or past...there is something deep inside of our core that is causing our pain.

I've had quite a few people who have confided in me and talked to me about their pain. There is one girl who I remember talked to me and she hadn't cut for about 9 months and then there's a message from her that says "I just threw 9 months away...I did it again. I am so broken."
And I just asked her "Why?"
She didn't know how to answer.

We can say, "I just had a bad day" or "I suffer from depression" or "I got into a fight with my parents"...whatever. But really...why?
When we get to the heart of why...we really can't blame anyone. It's just a loss of hope, or more-so, finding hope from the wrong place.

When Jesus is the thing that connects our head and our heart together, then the hope and the healing should just come with it.

So, ask yourself why?

&
Find hope.
Find help.
Find healing.

Wake up...you're ALIVE.

Peace
Liz

Btw, that girl did NOT waste 9 months. Those months of sobriety are worth sooo much and she should really be proud of herself. But don't think of it as months. Don't think "I have to be clean for the rest of my life!!!" Just take it one day at a time. Focus on living your life that day. It'll get easier.
You are certainly loved.

Dry

Lately...I've just been feeling so dry and confused and un-focussed.
I really just need to be washed. I just need to BREATHE.
I am so close to forgetting how to do that...

I'm praying for God to reveal Himself.
I'm praying for time.
I'm praying for COURAGE.

I guess just pray for me if you would.

I need to be poured into so that I can pour into others.
Right now, it's hard for me to give the encouragment that people are looking for.
And that really kills me because I love being that person for others...

Peace
Liz

Teenagers

Sometimes I am so ashamed to be in the same catagory as a "teenager". Society has set our bar and standards so low. They don't think we are capable of being anything more than lazy or irresponsible or arrogant.
I have met plenty of teens who fit this describtion, but I have also met SO many who are really working towards raising the bar and not staying in this comfortable zone that society has placed us in.
I just had a conversation with a kid and we were talking about all the changes happening in our school, just with teachers leaving and how we don't seem to have as much freedom as we used to. He said something like "This school is going to be hell..."
I said, "Well, it'll only be hell if we allow it. I'm more concerned about the lack of love in our school. I can't wait for the day when I just see students loving an accepting one another. I hope to start/be apart of that movement..."
His response was, "Don't expect it to happen anytime soon."

But why? Why can't that be the reality? Why do we have such little faith in ourselves and in God and what He is capable of?
God could just snap his fingers and in a second the world would be perfect and love would just occur in my school. But I LOVE the fact that he lets it up to us to start that movement ourselves! He doesn't need us! But He chooses to use us...even us teenagers.
If God has that much faith in us, then why don't we do anything? Why do we walk in our hallways and when we see someone getting picked on, we just ignore it, or in worst cases, we join in? Why do we let people eat lunch alone? Why do we make people feel bad? Because it's cool? Because it'll score you "points" with your buddies?
At the end of the day, is it really worth it?

I'm so tired of going to school and seeing that everyone is the SAME, ya know what I mean?
It's like, we all shop at the same places and do the same things and tell the same jokes and so on and so on.
It's so refreshing when I just meet an individual. Someone who is living life. Someone who can just BE.
Wouldn't just be easier to take off the mask? To finally know who your TRUE friends are?
Because I am sure the kids you pick on everyday, would be a much better friend to you than the people you call your "best friends" now.
I have the greatest friends in the world, because they accept me. I don't have to wear certain clothes or do certain things to win their approval...they just love me for who I am. And I thank them for that.

I'm not using this to rag on anyone or to tell people that their friends suck, but I just want you to think. Think about the life you are living. Think about the low expectations that have been made for you and think about how you can raise them.

Make teenagers into something more than what society thinks we are.
What if we just loved one another?
What if we were who God CALLED us to be?
What if we just accepted ourselves and each other?
"How much of our pain comes from not being able to answer 'Who are you?'"

Just be. Raise the standards. LOVE ONE ANOTHER! Please. Think of the movement...
Love always wins.

Peace
Liz

Beauty

I was watching television the other night and there was this documentary on.
(I tend to watch a lot of those...they are so intreging to me!)
This one was about this Chinese woman who has recently been named the tallest woman in the world, reaching well over 7 feet! It's because of this tumer on her petuitary gland and it makes her grow up to 2 inches every year.
Because of her non-stop growing body, her mobility is extremely limited and she spends most of her days in bed and everyday, people who live in her town crowd around her little house just to watch her...gawking at her and her un-believable features.
Laying in bed all day, every day, brings upon a lot of time to think. The longing in her heart to be normal, to be just like everyone else, to be BEAUTIFUL...it overwelms her.

As I was sitting there watching that, I couldn't help but just cry. Crying over this woman and the way she feels about herself. Thinking the whole time "God thinks you are SO beautiful and so perfect. God loves you...He made you BEAUTIFUL."

After watching the first half of the show, I went to bed. I layed in bed and I was just struck. God made ME beautiful and made ME perfect as well...

Why is it so easy for me to tell others that and mean it, but then when it comes to myself and my own insecurity...I can't believe it?
I hear verses on it all the time and people say it all the time...

There is a huge difference between knowing and believing.

So, just so you know...God thinks you are SO beautiful and so perfect. God loves you...He made you BEAUTIFUL.
Let's start to believe that together, because there is something about people with confidence...people who know they are beautiful because of God.

Peace
Liz

Days, People, Conversations...

This morning I looked at my youth pastors blog and it said simply this: "Who did you talk to today?"

Well as the day went on, I talked to more and more people...I even met three new ones!
But at the core of this question, it isn't about so much how many you talked to or just who you talked to...but what did you talk about!

I could meet a hundred new people everyday...but if we never talked about anything authentic or deep or interesting...did I really meet them? Did I truly TALK to them?

So ask yourself: "Who did I really, deeply, authentically talk to today?"

My goal starting today, is to try and learn something new about every person I talk to.
No matter how long I have known them.
Them maybe...I'll end up learning something about myself...

Peace
Liz

Rain

My grandma sent this to me in an e-mail today, and it really touched me. Just another example of how life should be lived through the eyes of an innocent child...

A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Target. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful freckle faced image of innocence.
It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout.
We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of Target. We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day.

I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.

The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in "Mom let's run through the rain," she said.

'What?' Mom asked.

'Lets run through the rain!' She repeated.

'No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit,' Mom replied.

This young child waited about another minute and repeated:

"Mom, let's run through the rain."
"We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said.

'No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning,' the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.

This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet? "Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!'"

The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain.. We all stood silently No one came or left in the next few minutes.
Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say.
Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.

"Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If GOD
let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said.

Then off they ran.
We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like
children all way to their cars.
And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.

Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories...
So, don't forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories everyday.
To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.

Do you need washing? Are you making everyday a memory? Are you living life to the fullest, as if it were your last die? Loving as if everything life depends on it?

I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN.

Living Life Through Prayer

Last week threw me for a huge loop. I have a friend right now, who is in the hospital basically fighting for her life.
I also started school and I am slowly learning that this year is going to be a very hard one. Not only academically, but as far as people go. I also had little things that were crazy, like failing my drivers test...

The thing that really threw me for a loop about the week was that, I wasn't stressed at all. I wasn't worried or scared.
I was satisfied. I knew deep in my heart that God was enough. I found myself constantly PRAYING.

Why is prayer so hard for us? We have the opportunity to speak to and have an authentic relationship with the creater of the universe, and we take it for granted. We only pray when we need things or when things go wrong and then we never give it a second thought. This week I experienced life lived through prayer. I experienced life the way it was truly meant to be lived. Even through community as well.

The situation with the girl I know in the hospital, Jake, affected sooo many people. God ended up using that horrible situation as such a blessing. There have been so many people who have found the Lord through this, her mom included. God has answered so many prayers and it has really just shown us how big He is and that we always need to trust in Him. We have also all experienced COMMUNITY the way it's supposed to be. We had a few prayer vigils for her and just the unity in those places and the presence of God...it was incredibly moving and amazing.

This week, I want to challange you to do a few things. First off, PRAY. We need prayer. We need that intimate time with our Father like we need air or food! It will fulfill us and satisfy us!
Also try to BREATHE this week. Last week, it was hard for us to just take the time and breathe and just let the Lord speak to you. Just listen to what He is saying to you and also find some time to yourself. It can really do you some good.
Lastly, try to meet a new person. For me, I hardly have any classes with my friends, so it has been hard. But I have also met a lot of new people and it is also a great opportunity for me to love others.

Just become consumed by God this week. Try to breathe, pray, give God your time because sometimes life can get so crazy, we even forget that He is always listening and can always take on our burdens and stress, no matter how big or small. JUST LIVE LIFE. The way it's suppose to be lived.

Peace
Liz

p.s. PLEASE PRAY FOR JAKE. She is improving everyday, but really still needs our prayers. Pray for her heath and that God would heal her and recover her body. Pray for the doctors and nurses and the people who are trying to save her life. Just that God will give them the wisdom and the will to keep trying to save her no matter what. Pray for her mom and family and close friends that they will never lose hope in the Lord and that they will not become discouraged. And just pray for anything else that is on your heart involving this situation. God is bigger than we can understand. He will always bless us through the pain. We need to trust Him.
Thank you.

Forgiveness...Why is it so hard?

The other day, I was watching television with my sister and this documentary came on TLC. It was about this little boy, 7 years old who lived in Uganda, who had a condition in which his head was cone shaped and his eyes were almost bulging out of his head (I didn't see enough of it to get the name of the condition).

His whole town pretty much disowned him. They rideculed him, made fun of him. He had to leave his school because the kids would torment him so much and even the TEACHERS would ignore him and exclude him. Well, long story short, an American doctor offered to perform plastic surgery on him to fix his features. When he came home, the whole village had a huge celebration for him. Everyone wanted to be around him. He was the most popular kid in his school. He was basically a celebrity in his village. So, not only did were they horrible to him when he was disfigured, but when he came home, they only accepted him because he looked like they did.
And you know what he said? "I know that I have to forgive the people in my village. And I have."

7 YEARS OLD, and he understands forgiveness more than we do.

We are the "Christians". Aren't we supposed to know more about forgiveness than a young boy?

Why is it that a little boy can forgive his entire village, the people that made fun of him relentlessly and forced him to leave his school and his country until he changed his APPEARANCE, but we can't forgive our neighbor for the smallest thing?
We hold grudges against people for the dumbest things!

We do the stupidest, meanest, most horrible things, things known as sin, and Jesus forgives us for ALL of it.
If we call ourselves Christians, followers of Christ, shouldn't we be showing the same love and mercy, or at least try as hard as we can to?
Yeah, it's inconveinent. Yeah, it's hard. But if a little boy can do it, who perhaps has never heard the gospel, why can't we?
Why is it so hard?

Challenge yourself. Become AWARE. If it is inconveinent...then you should probably do it.

Peace
Liz

Community

Tonight we got a taste of communtiy. We are really starting to understand and hold onto the idea of making a community that equals freedom. We are starting to understand how important vulnerability is and why taking off the mask...getting rid of the fake smile and pulling your arm down is so important.
You can't give love if you aren't accpeting it. We are starting to understand how important it is to have a solid community. A community that can be God in a physical sense, holding you up...pulling you out of the ditches in life and just living their life to be there for others.

It's a beautiful thing to be apart of and I can't even understand why other churches are supporting the masks. Why they are afraid of the vulnerability. Why? Because, it's awkward? Because it's inconveinent? Because it's uncomfortable? Those things are during those MOMENTS. They aren't going to last. Why not endure those moments of awkwardness and inconveinence to be apart of authentic community? to help someone who is struggling? Who is willing to say "Hey. I'm DONE with not living life. I'm done with the ordinary. I'm done with keeping you at arms length and having to say I'm doing great, when in reality I feel like I'm falling apart."?
WHY DO CHURCHES IGNORE VULNERABILITY? SUFFERING? BROKEN-NESS?

I feel extrodinarailly blessed to be apart of my community....

I pray that this continues and that it only gets better. That we actually start having conversations and getting to know the girl who came every week for four months and NO ONE talked to her...or at least learn her name and say we are happy to see her.

Just pray. God really is big enough. He really does do extraordinary things. BE AWARE. Open your eyes. Learn. Live.

Peace
Liz

P.s. Relevance people! Or whoever cares! This is my number:636-233-8102
I do not have unlimited texting (I'm working on it!) so don't text just asking What's up. haha.
But if you need someone to talk to or if you have any cool ideas for the upcoming year at the Realm or anything like that just text or call me. :)
I'm not big on the whole talking on the phone thing...but I will still gladly talk to you on the phone. Especially if you are just going through something. Don't hesitate...really.

My email is also lizzardsr10@yahoo.com
I check it everyday...and mostly everyone has my Facebook.
Yeahh. Cool! Just talk to me. About anything (I'm not joking...ANYTHING!). We will get coffee...or whatever.
Peace!

Dreams

Yesterday morning I went to church for a meeting on what we wanted to see happen at the Realm...trying to get creative in the changes that could happen there.

If I'm being honest, I was disappointed in myself. I feel like I was still inside the box. I feel as though I wasn't thinking about the Realm or the community...I was focused on preferences. I wasn't dreaming big enough. I was thinking small.

God created us with these huge minds and these huge imaginations. He gave those to us so we could think big, creatively, outside the box...not so we could think small.

I have a dream of starting a club in my school called "Love is the Movement". I think that it would be a good way for students at our school to gain encouragement and to seek recovery from whatever is going on in their lives. Everyone is broken...I wanna bring that to attention at my school. I wanna start a love movement and revolution in my school. I want kids to feel as though they are loved. To know that they can truly be accepted. WE NEED THAT IN OUR SCHOOL. There are so many kids in my school who are struggling, who are in pain, who are broken and they may never receive love or encouragement from anywhere else. I want this to become a reality...

If I am being vulnerable...I don't believe in myself enough to see this happening. I am praying that I can start to believe in my dreams. I should be because I believe in God. I know that I can do all things through Him. I need to believe that. WE need to believe that.

Begin to pray that God will allow you to use the imagination and the mind He blessed you with. Start to think outside the box. Start to believe in yourself.

Let's help create a generation of dreamers.

Peace
Liz

So Sweet...

"Everything in the world is about to be wrapped up,
so take nothing for granted. Stay wide-awake in prayer.
Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on in.
Love makes up for practically everything.- 1 Peter 4:8 (The Message)

Uhhhh...I love this. A lot.
Like...I am getting goosebumps and my stomach is in my throat.
I love how God's word is the most beautiful written thing in the world...

This is where I am finding my encouragement lately.

I just thought I would share this verse, because when I read it my face was ripped off. And I kinda cried a little. Haha.

Where is your encouragement coming from?
Be encouraged this week. And smile.
This is a random thought...but I know that when I get a smile from a stranger it makes me feel so awesome. So, smile! Make someone feel awesome! :)

Peace
Liz

465

I have 465 friends on Facebook.
Even more than that on Myspace and I am wondering to myself, "How many of those people, the people I know and see almost everyday, are suffering? How many of these people are experiencing real pain, and I just ignore them?"

God has surrounded me with all these people. He has given me a passion for these people for a reason and I just am wondering if I am truely living my life for them. Am I truely loving them without agendas and loving them even when it's inconveinient? I have the opportunity to be a glimpse of Jesus to them. I have the opportunity to love them when they feel as though they have nobody else.

I want to be that person for them. I am going to live me life FOR those people. Not just the people on Facebook, but the strangers I come into contact with. This summer was the summer was incredible and I felt God everywhere. I went to Mexico and got to love people without even thinking about it. I want that to be my reality. I want that to be OUR reality.
Let's do it together. Make this coming school year count.
I know I'm actually excited about school!

465 people. Plus the trillion others in my school. I'm gonna love them.

Peace
Liz

Thanks

Be sure to thank God for the people He has placed in your life.
When I think about the community He has surrounded me with and the people that have influenced my life...it reminds me of how good God is.

I have so many amazing people in my life. So many people that have been there for me through everything. So many people who have taught me so much and who have had countless conversations with me. So many people who have prayed with me and for me and who always have my back...who always love me.

Thank you so much...you know who you are.

Just thank God for those amazing people in your life...and then thank those people.
They were put in your life for a reason.

Peace
Liz

What's It Going To Take?

I'm sitting in my room at 2:45AM and I can't stop thinking.
I can't stop thinking about the people I saw today. The honest eyes I stared into and the cries for help I may have ignored.
I can't stop thinking about the upcoming school year and my excitement...but also my worry. My worry that I won't take advantage of God's gifts to me...the opportunities He will give me. I am worried that I won't love like I did in Mexico and the bucket of cold water has been hitting me since I stepped off the bus coming home from the most life changing trip.
I'm worried that Mexico is an extension of life...but then everyday I spend here in Missouri...in my comfort zone, won't be.
I can't stop thinking about my passion for people and how much LOVE is going to change my life and change the world.

I can't stop thinking about the conversations I have had lately. The community God has surrounded me with and the support and love I have just been drowning in.

I can't stop thinking about that old woman's eyes...gratitude...love. I can't stop thinking about how I SAW A GLIMPSE OF WHAT LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE. I saw beauty in it's finest. I saw love like never before. I saw joy like never before. I saw community like never before. I saw God reveal Himself CONSTANTLY and I have to wonder...WHAT IS IS GOING TO TAKE?
What's it going to take for my life here to be like it was in Mexico?
What's it going to take for me to love without an agenda...inconveiniently...everyday?
What's it going to take for me to feel surrounded by His love and mercy and grace?
What's it going to take for me to sit with the guy who has no friends? Or love the girl who can't stand being fake anymore? Or have a conversation with the guy who greets you at the supermarket in a wheelchair?
What's it going to take for US to make this our reality? To live life the way God intended it to be lived? WHAT'S IT GOING TO TAKE?

Be the difference you want to see in the world. LOVE IS THE MOVEMENT. Let's move. Let's love. Let's live.

Peace
Liz

He is jealous for me. Loves like a hurricane I am a tree. Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclisped by glory. And I realize just how beauiful you are and how great your affections are for me.

HE LOVES US. OH HOW HE LOVES US.

We are His portion and He is our prize, drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes, If grace is an ocean we're all sinking. So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss, And my heart turns violently inside of my chest, I don’t have time to maintain these regrets, When I think about, the way…

HE LOVES US. OH HOW HE LOVES US.

I Remember.

This performance by Damien Rice is pretty much the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen.
He is so totally boss.



Enjoy.

Peace
Liz

P.S. It's my birthday! If you see me, sing! Haha...just kidding...not really.

Worship

I am starting to understand worship and it's purpose and it's importance in my life.

I understand that it's a GIFT from God. Being able to worship Him...especially since we are undeserving is the most amazing thing. To be able to do something so beautiful and true and authentic as nasty, dirty, unworthy humans is absolutely INCREDIBLE.

I remember coming home from Mexico, sitting on the bus, and listening to "Beautiful" by Shawn McDonald and just crying. Just realzing those lyrics and making them so absolutely real to me.

As I look into the stars

Pondering how far away they are

How you hold them in your hands

And still you know this man

You know my inner most being, Lord

Even better than I know, than I know myself

What a beautiful God

What a beautiful God

What am I that I might be called your child?

What am I, What am I?

That you might know me, my King!

What am I, What am I, What am I?

As I look off into the distance

Watching the sun roll on by

Beautiful colors all around me, Lord

Painted all over the sky

The same hands that created all of this

They created you and I

What a beautiful God

What a beautiful God

What am I that I might be called your child?

What am I? What am I?

That you might know me, my King!

What am I, what am I, What am I?

That you might die that I might live!

What am I, what am I, what am I?

Just...worship God. Because He is so beautiful and we are so undeserving.

Be beautiful because of Him.

Peace

Liz

Mexico: Seeing God

Words will never be able to explain it. I would title the week as...Seeing God.
I saw God in Mexico through people I never thought could show Him to me.

There was this old woman that we gave food and toiletries to who just touch my heart and soul like no other with her gratitude.
She was very old, with many wrinkles and hardly any teeth. She had long, gray hair and an old bathrobe on. She smelled like she hadn't showered in a while and her body was so frail, I was afraid she could fall over any second.
And I wish I could be as beautiful as that woman someday. Her love for God was completely radiant.

Man...it was the coolest experience just feeding those poor people. Just loving them without even thinking about it. Not caring about their age, or their clothes, or where they lived...if they had the latest phone or the coolest hairstyle or the best car (or even a car at all). I love every one of them more than I can express and they had none of what I just mentioned.
When we were at the church we hung out with sweaty, sticky, smelly, dirty kids and I never wanted to let go of them. I didn't care that they were dirty. I didn't care when they did something annoying or when they were mean to me. I didn't care when they stole my camera and stole extra snacks. I loved them so much. They gave me a glimpse of God's love and for that, I thank them so so much. They helped me out and did more for me than I did for them. The kids, the poor, the old, the lame, the blind, the starving...They gave me such a gift and giving them food and shampoo and my time is just the least I could do for them.

I also wasn't just changed from the people in Mexico, but from the people I went with. Our community changed and grew so much. We prayed for each other...I had life changing conversations...we did the most AMAZING thing on the last night where we whispered encouragement or something into everyone's ear. Hearing the encouragement was amazing...but I feel more changed from giving it. Just realizing what an amazing group we have and how many extraordinary people God has surrounded me with was so amazing.

Just through my week in Mexico...I've started to experience God all the time. I was even experiencing Him on the bus. Just through music and prayer. Listening to lyrics that are so beautiful and feeling God work through me.
Worship is starting to become something so much more to me. I believe it's starting to become the thing that is making me beautiful. Feeling God move inside of me and feeling His arms around me...I feel beautiful.
I love God. I love what He has and is doing in my life.

Mexico in a nutshell: I can't tell you in a nutshell. You need to experience it for yourself. I can only tell you so much as far as stories and such go, but you can't understand something fully until you really experience it yourself.
LOVE ON PEOPLE. Inconveniently, completely, passionately, as closely to God as you can. WE HAVE THE ABILITY TO CHANGE THE WORLD and someone's life.
I may never ever see that beautiful, old woman again, but I will never forget her and she will never forget me. I will never forget her eyes or her hug or her lips on my cheek. I will never forget those kids and the tears in their eyes and in mine when we had to leave them. I won't forget their smiles and how they loved me...even when I was sweaty, dirty, without makeup, whatever...

What if we loved like that? What if we sat with the guy who has no friends at lunch? What if we listened to the girl who has been crying out for love from someone for 2 years? What if we stopped ignoring everyone around us and stopped being selfish? What if we loved?

What if?

Peace
Liz

Truely Be Apart Of The Movement.

I notice a lot of people just at my school or on the dreaded Myspace and other places, who wear TWLOHA (To Write Love On Her Arms) t-shirts or have Love is the Movement on their profiles and whatever. But, I wonder how many people actually get it or understand it? I wonder how many people are living their lives like they believe that love actually is the movement?

Love is just...I can't explain it. Love isn't a cool t-shirt or just "being apart of something" like a trend or whatever.
Love is huge.
It's beautiful.
It's inconvenient at times.
It's messy at times.
It's pure.
We can't achieve the right kind of love and we can't make love the movement, if we aren't living our life FOR love. And this is hard. It's really hard...but we were made for love.

There is so much crap in this world and the world deserves our love...and they deserve for it to be real and all the time, even when it's inconvenient.

Examine your heart. Are you loving like you were MADE to love? The way that God intended us to love? Or, is this just a cool t-shirt and a trend to you?

I believe in you. Love is the Movement...we need to make it happen. Let God use you.

Peace
Liz

I Can't Believe It's Finally Here!

Tomorrow we leave for Mexico. TOMORROW! I can't believe it!
This blog isn't really anything special, just letting everyone know that we are leaving and asking you all to keep us in your prayers!!!

If you are interested in keeping up or whatever, Freddy and Khris will update with journal entries and hopefully pictures everyday on realmnoise.com/freddysblog.

I have no clue what to expect, but I also think that's a good thing...it leaves more room for God to surprise me. :)

I'll definitely fill you all in when I return!

Peace
Liz

God Is So Much Bigger Than This.

"Its hard not to feel like I'm a fuck up and I can't help anyone else, because I can barely save myself. So why do I chose to mask my pain and try to never let go again? I almost cut for the first time in 2 years last night because of the things that are still echoing through my mind and soul all the heartbreaks and being called a fuck up. I still scream it at myself. I fear failure. I can not sleep at night without thinking what a fucking fuck up I am because of the feeling that my mother and abusive stepfather were right. All I am is a fuck up, a mistake, a dreamer, and a failure."

I read this in a forum on my TWLOHA Street Team profile.
I didn't feel it was necessary to censor it...so I'm sorry if you were offended or whatever.

Can I just say that I am absolutely heart broken?! Not only is this just a sad story, but he doesn't understand how much God loves him...how much God wants him to come to Him and to just rest in His arms. He doesn't see how this situation isn't even close to being as big as God and that this is an experience that can turn into an opportunity.
If I could snapped my fingers and make all his pain go I away...I would in a second. But I can't. I am just going to continue to pray for him.

If this is you....if you see your situation through his, DON'T GIVE UP ON GOD. And don't give up on yourself. Just like I said, God is so much bigger than this. THIS WORLD HAS NOTHING FOR YOU. Follow Him. I believe in absolutely every single on of you and I love you.

Live your life. Don't let Satan win.

Peace
Liz

p.s. I am here for anyone who needs someone to talk to, or someone to cry and snot all over. :)
Just message me, text me, call me. I love getting coffee and just having conversation. Seriously. I'm here.

Opportunity=Great Joy

My friend, Vee sent me this verse that she has been going through for a little bit and I think that it's absolutely perfect.

James 1:2-4-"Dear Brothers and Sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. For when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing."

I've never realized what a wonderful word opportunity is.
op·por·tu·ni·ty- n. pl. op·por·tu·ni·ties:
A chance for progress or advancement.

God gives us opportunities ALL THE TIME. Are we taking them?
Why aren't we? Don't you want to ADVANCE and move forward in your relationship with Christ? Don't you want intimacy like you have never even known? I know I do.

I just love that God is SO much bigger than ANYTHING we are going through. And just the thought of how big and loving and powerful He is, is an opportunity for GREAT JOY. Don't you just love that?! God can provide JOY in our toughest situations.
That just excites me and I pray that I can recognize the opportunity everytime I've hit a bump in the road...because I believe it could cause intimacy and pursuit like I have never experienced, which is what I want most in life.

Just go through this verse on your own. Hash it out. Make it mean something to you. Share what you got out of it!!! I would really love that.

Peace
Liz

Ch-Ch-Changes

This year has been CRAZY. But, in a good way. :)

I was just thinking about how different I am compared to like 7 months ago. I can't believe the work God has done in my life and the change in my heart in only a few short months. And everytime I think about the opportunity God has given me and the second chance...it gives me hope all over again, no matter what situation. And it excites me.

I wish my friends changed with me. It's frustrating when you go through this big journey and you aren't even really the same person and your friends don't really understand who you are anymore, or it causes you to lose contact...
More than frustrating, it's sad. But, movement costs something. It's just something I have always had to remind myself, even now...like everyday. But, this new life, this second chance, this intimacy is absolutely worth it in the end.

I recieved a text last night: "Be praying that you want God because sometimes we can get so distracted and lost and confused and jacked up and simply miss wanting God in His essence."

I want God.

Peace
Liz

Meant To Live

Who needs prayer?

The most simple question can have the hardest answer. This was the big question asked Wednesday night at camp. At first you just think, "Oh, it's just Freddy and his crazy questions! This will take us 10 minutes and then we will learn."

I learned more from that night than any other night at camp. And most of the nights in my entire life.
The vulnrability.
The love.
Taking care of each other. Wait. Can I just stop there for a second? TAKING CARE OF EACH OTHER.

I texted Khris the other day with a problem of mine. It was kinda late and I know that Khris is busy and he probably has better things to do than stay up late texting a teenage girl about her problems! But he talked to me about it anyways (emailed me later) and, I don't know. I just won't forget him ever because of the love that he has shown me. I sent him a text just thanking him for always being there and for just showing me love. He sent me one in response saying, "Welcome to life...when people actually care about each other. This is how we were meant to live."

THIS IS HOW WE WERE MEANT TO LIVE. I love that.

So, seriously. Who needs prayer? I'm here for you. We are hear for you.

Start taking care of each other. This is how we are meant to live.

Peace
Liz

What Makes A Friend A Friend?

I don't really have the answer to this...but I've been thinking about it a lot.

I recently (like...two days ago...) had a conversation with my "best friend". I put that in quotations, because even though we do everything together and we spend every second together and I love her a lot...she didn't know me and I didn't know her. We were sitting at Starbucks and I decided that that was the day I was going to tell her everything about me. It was a tough conversation. She doesn't really know how to talk to people, because she hasn't done it a lot....it's uncomfortable for her. But, I tried to let her know that the more you do it, the easier it gets. I hated talking to people to. Not like "Hey, how ya doing" kinda thing, but deep, messy, crazy, real conversations. I HATED THEM. Until...I guess it was December when I had a deep, messy, crazy, real conversation that absolutely changed my entire life. Now, I can't get enough of conversations. CONVERSATIONS SHAPE LIVES.

Where am I getting at with the whole "What makes a friend a friend?"
Freddy once said, "You may think that your best friend is your friend, but if you aren't have deep, authentic conversations with them, then they are just an acquaintance."

I think that there are a few people out there who need to have a few conversations.
I am so passionate about conversations, because I have a had a few that have made me who I am today...

Do some deep thinking this week. Pray this week. Talk to your "friends" this week.
Make this week count.
And then it should be habit; every week will count.

Don't let life just happen.

Peace
Liz

Freedom

So, I was reading Freddy's blog the other day and it was really awesome, so I thought I would share kinda what it was about and the questions he asked.

He was just saying that there are so many distractions in our life and so many things that keep a guard on our heart and these things keep us from freedom. At camp, we talked about freedom. He had us say all of the words that describe where we are at in our lives (in terms of our relationship with God) and then he had us say all the words that come to mind when we think of freedom and then to compare the two lists. He explained that to change a lot of the words on the first list (which were things like guilty, insecure, discouraged, confused, etc.) we need to surrender those to God and then we can experience freedom. 

The questions that he asked was what is keeping us from experiencing freedom? What is in the way of our hearts?

For me personally, it's my insecurity and low self esteem that is keeping me in the way of complete freedom, but I am really working on it and praying about it and it's has gotten and is getting so much better. I got to this better point in my life through, 1. Prayer. Prayer is the most important thing when it comes to your relationship with God. You guys have heard me say that a million times now! 2. Conversations. I have had INCREDIBLE conversations since I have started this crazy, awesome journey with God. With Freddy, Khris, my friends...even random people! It's been so cool to see how conversations really can shape your life.  3. Asking questions. I was watching a television show recently and this woman was telling her friend, who stood up in the middle of service to ask a question, she told her that church isn't really a place for questions, but just a place to learn the answers, without questions. While getting answers is good, you should still absolutely ask questions. We can't be expected to know everything. Heck, I just learned that there was book in the Bible called Haggai YESTERDAY! I would hate to think how confused I would be and far behind I would be if I didn't ask questions. So, don't be afraid to!!!

That's basically it for today. Thanks for listening and I hope that you got something out of it, because I really want you all to go on this journey with me. :)

Keep praying, asking questions, and having those great conversations. Remember that the conversations you have with people reflect the conversations you are having with God and vise versa.

Peace

Liz

p.s. I have another, and my last Mexico meeting tonight. I think that I will put my favorite notes up here tomorrow or Wednesday, because I have learned so much cool stuff at those meetings!

Camp

I told you I would tell you about camp, so here we go!

Pretty much amazing. Although, there was a lot of it that was disappointing.

The stuff that was disappointing was first of all, the people. I don't want this to sound harsh or anything, but the majority of the people there were very rude and I found it very difficult to make any new friends. But there were a few exceptions and I am grateful for them. Another was the worship. There were a few days that I got a lot out of it, but there were a couple days were everything seemed very... fake.

But through the disappointments, I realized that that stuff didn't matter, because they were just distractions. I really didn't want to let those things get in the way of me experiencing God that week. And, when I realized that, God threw me so many opportunities to feel and experience Him. One day, they had all of us go outside and gather around the flag pole and pray for our schools and the year coming up and that really helped me a lot, because I was so worried about the school year coming up. And I was worried about my patience and ability to love the people at school as well.

The most amazing night of camp, Wednesday night, we were in our individual church groups. Freddy simply just walked in and asked us if there was anyone there who needed prayer.

One by one people were raising their hand and asking for prayer. There were some people who were telling us things that they have never shared with anyone before. Pretty much everyone in the room was just weeping and praying over everyone and we were just taking care of each other and not judging anybody.

And just seeing this, touched me in such a way that I can't even explain. Knowing that we can be vulnerable and that I can trust all of those people. It was just so beautiful. We were united.

The thing that I really want is that unity in our community. If it happened with the 30 or 40 people who were in that room at camp, why isn't it happening normally. I also want it to happen in the church as a whole. I saw how beautiful and amazing it was...I want it to continue. 

I also built a lot of new relationships at camp. Me and Khris (I mentioned him in an earlier blog) had a really really great conversation after that Wednesday night and it was really cool talking to him and knowing that I could come to him for anything. I don't really know how to explain how thankful I am for the people in my church, especially the staff. They are so amazing.

That's basically the main parts of camp that I wanted to share with you. I would tell you all the funny stories, but this blog is long enough. I'll type a separate one for that after this. Even though I'm not sure you would find them all as funny as I do. :D

Peace

Liz

One More Thing

"I think prayer is a lot like giving. It doesn't change God. It changes us." -Margret Feinburg (The Organic God)

It all comes back to intimacy. Intimacy with God=intimacy with people. And it happens with prayer. WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND PRAYER!!!!

Just chew on this for a little bit.

Peace
Liz

Words

Wow. I finally understand, which is weird, because I feel like I should already have known this... In my last blog I was saying that I never know what to say in situations where I am talking to a non-believer. (I don't like that word...but I will use it for the sake of making sense).
So yesterday I am at my Mexico meeting and we were talking about how imagination and faith and knowledge are all related and there were a lot of other things said (and I might post the notes up later because they rule) but I realized that...I don't have to say anything at all.
My actions, my love for others, my smile should be enough of a witness. I should just be oozing with Jesus and then people will WANT to know. It's incredible that I kinda just realized this.
I am so insecure when it comes to what I say and how I say it. I feel like I never know what to say or if I make any sense. (I am wondering this right now) But I realized that I don't have to be blessed with the gift of speaking to witness to others.
I've also been blessed with singing, which could also help.

I just wanted to share my revelation with you!
I'll put my Mexico notes up later. OH! I will also tell you about camp because I got to go and it was incredible!!! :)

Peace
Liz

p.s. Still be praying for Mexico!! A lot of people are stressing about money.

This Has Always Frustrated Me

"Jesus is watching everything you are doing. So always do good things because Jesus will reward you with a glimpse of heaven, which is the good nature of man and earth coexisting with the peace of angels. Thanks."
This was posted in a forum on a website that I joined forever ago...and it is totally sarcastic.

And since I am basically the only Christian on the website, I have NO clue how to reach these people or what to say or whatever. And I've always had this problem.
Everytime I would meet someone like this who didn't believe in God or hated church I never knew what to say, because I don't want to get into an argument or whatever.

I don't know, I've just always struggled with this and it has always just brought me to the point of tears...
I guess I'm just looking for advice/prayer/etc.

Peace
Liz

p.s. If this made no sense...make me clarify a bit. Haha.

Music Is Therepy

I don't have anything interesting to say or any rant to go about today...so I thought I would just give you some cool music to listen to.

Everything on this list is something that I have been listening to lately. I'll put my favorite song after it. :)

1. Fionn Regan- I can't pick a favorite...they are all so great.
2. Kate Nash- "The Nicest Thing" or "Birds"
3. Rosie Thomas- "Prety Dress" or "The Ones I Love"
4. The Foals- "Red Socks Pugie"
5. Lost In The Trees- All of them.
6. Wolf Parade- I forgot what the song is called...but all their songs are great!
7. Manchester Orchestra- "I Can Feel Your Pain" or "The Neighborhood is Bleeding"
8. The Dodos- "Walking" or ...actually, just all their songs. :)
9. Seabird- I haven't listened to them too much yet, but Freddy says that they are "money". Haha.
10. Gregory and the Hawk- all of them. Her songs are beautiful.

So those are just the Top 10, I guess. Oh, and I am always listening to Regina Spektor. :)
I hope you enjoy and have a good week!

Peace
Liz

Prayer

I have been thinking about prayer for a really long time. I have been wanting great prayer for a really long time. After Wired, (this awesome weekend retreat thing at my church) I have been trying to work on my prayer life, just trying to have more intimacy and to really listen to God and to have awesome conversation with Him, just like the ones I had with Him at Wired.
Like...during Wired, all I wanted to do was just to be totally focused on God the whole time. All I wanted to do was to pray and worship and learn. It was incredible how much I felt God that weekend and that's what has helped me with my relationship with Him now...and it's an amazing journey.

But, yesterday at our Mexico training meeting, prayer was our main focus, as well as our growth. I just wanted to share with you the notes that I took on Freddy's talk last night, because they are amazing! (I am just going to type down straight from my notes...if you have any questions, just comment)

Ask yourself these questions:
-Where are you at?
-how do you think you got there?
-Where do you want to go?
-How do you think you are going to get there?
My answers:
I felt like my relationship with God is good and so much better than it has ever been, but I still carry a lot of burdens and I still really really want to grow and learn and I said that I want to be in a place where I feel free through God and I got there because of the influences in my life and because I just allowed God to enter in and I was just tired of not feeling Him. Where I don't ever have to worry because I know that I am being taken care of and that I really just need to give everything up to Him, and I want to be in a place where I can do that. I said that I will get to that place by just doing more of everything. Definitely more prayer and just more pursuit.
-we should ask ourselves these questions OFTEN.
-Michael Angelo(spelling?):"Criticize by creating" which basically means "Shut up and do something about it!"

-How do we acquire more FAITH?
-We can do this through Prayer: "the means of maintaining our Christian life; there's nothing that we need to study and try to understand more than the art of prayer."
(also read Luke 11)
-our private life produces what happens in our public life
-everything comes back to prayer
-Ask yourself: How's my prayer life? (on a scale of 1-10)
-What would my life be life if it were a 10?
-We should be LISTENING to God
-think about one of the best prayer experiences you've had and make that the norm in your life.

Okay, so those are all the notes from yesterday....AMAZING right?
After Freddy talked, then we broke off into small groups and talked to each other about prayer and then prayed with each other about just whatever was on our hearts and whatever our conversations were about and that was incredible.
I am just encouraging you all to look at the last note taken...and follow that. Our prayer life could be so insanely and crazily awesome if we just really really try. I'M EXCITED. I'm ready to move...move with me. :)

Peace
Liz

p.s. Comments are COOL! Haha. Also, I have a few prayer requests, if that's alright?!
So, first off a friend of Freddy's, her name is Carol (who I've heard was just dripping with Jesus and who was totally awesome) she just passed away, so just be praying for her family. Also, just be praying for camp which is coming up this week. I'm not going, but I know a lot of people who are, so just pray that it goes well. And be praying for Mexico!!! We leave July 12th and come back home the 20th. Just pray for things such as safety, money, that we touch people's lives...stuff like that.
That's all I've got for you right now. If you feel comfortable, leave your requests down here and I'll pray for you. If not, I've got Facebook, Myspace, a phone! So, just whatever! (Sorry this one was so long...but I had to share!!!) Have a cool week!

Coming With A Broken Heart

Yesterday (Sunday, June 8th, I believe...) Brigid and I were at Border's and there are these books called Post Secret and for those of you who aren't familiar with them, it's a book that is filled with anonymous postcards and letters from people all over the world and they share their deepest secrets. (For those of you who have seen the music video "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects, that's what it is.)
We sat in Border's for about 3 hours reading those books. Some of the secrets were funny and others were weird and gross, but most of them were very sad and depressing.
After reading this, it has been on my mind ever since. I cannot describe to you the feelings that I feel about this. I want SO much to help all those people. I want SO much for them to know that I love them. I am praying that God will send them peace. It has just been killing me since I read it, because I very very very much so want to help these people and I just feel very helpless, because I don't know them, I don't feel like I can help them....I don't know how many of them have already given up hope. (Be praying for me about that).
I spent a long time last night just crying and praying over those people.
I just want those people to feel what I feel. The fulfillment and the security I have in God and his love. And just how I never have to feel alone or scared. I want them to feel that SO SO much.

There is just so much more to this life than what they think is being offered. If you are feeling like this...I love you. God loves you. There is more to this life. (even if it sounds cliche)

I don't know. My heart is just broken over these people and this world...but I have hope in this world, even though it's hard sometimes...

Just pray with me about this. Thanks.

Peace
Liz

My One Prayer

We are doing a new series at church called One Prayer and it seems like it's going to be really awesome. (oneprayer.com)
So, Freddy asked us if we had one prayer for ourselves, for our community, and for the church(the church as a whole), what would it be. I immediatly thought of love. My one prayer would be that I, we, would be known for our love of God and our love for people.
How awesome would it be if we brought people to church and brought people to God, simply because we love?! Really flippin awesome!!!! And I believe that we can do that. I believe in our community and the church, but one person believing isn't the same as EVERYONE believing. Know that you can make a difference!!! God will use you if you let Him.

So, what is your one prayer?
For yourself?
For your community?
For the church?

I am interested in hearing about it, if you don't mind sharing! :)

Just remember that I believe in us...remember to love.

Peace
Liz

Here vs.There

I went to my Mexico meeting yesterday and Freddy kept saying the same thing: We should be loving and serving the people here just as we do in Mexico.
He asked why it is so easy to serve the people in Mexico; even when they are sweaty and dirty, we serve them through love and when it's inconvenient. Why is it so easy to serve them and love them, but it's so hard to serve the same way here?

This is my first mission trip, so I personally haven't felt that feeling of serving when it's inconvenient like the others have...but I am sure that it is as easy as Freddy says. And there have been multiple times that God has put a situation in front of me where I needed to serve and needed to love, but I just ignored them.

Q: Why do I want to go on this trip?

Freddy asked a lot of us this question. I want to go because I feel like God has put it on my heart to go. I want to help those people and I want to become more aware. I feel like over here, we are sometimes sheltered to the world and I think this is going to help me understand what's going on. I just feel like...I will feel God on this trip and that it will help me understand Him more.

After the meeting, I wanted to add on another part of that answer...
Like I said earlier, I miss a lot of opportunities to serve. I really want this trip to help me to serve here as well, like in at my school or any other place for that matter. I really want to become a glimpse to what life is really about to others...

So, just be praying that this trip goes well and that we don't miss it and that God just really shows up.

Peace
Liz

Be Praying

So, this summer, like I said, is the summer for change and there are big changes that are going to be happening in my life and in our youth group.
Today, the new ninth graders came in and we welcomed them...and I just would ask that you keep them in your prayers and that they can feel comfortable and welcome...and also that they can understand and grow more.
I would also pray for the people going to camp, which is coming up in about 3 weeks or so. I'm not going, but just that it's a good trip for everyone else as well as a safe one.
We are also going to Mexico July 12-20th and I will be going on that trip, so just keep me and the others in your prayers as far as raising the money to go goes and also just that it's a safe trip and that everyone can get a lot out of it and that we really touch some people's lives. I have never been more excited about a trip in my life, so I am just soooo stoked!
My dad is leaving for Romania pretty much the week after I get back so keep him and the others in your prayers as well.

So, like I said...crazy summer, but awesome!

If you have anything you want me to be praying for, let me know!!!! I would be more than happy to pray for you. :)

Peace.
Liz

Oh, pray for my friend Em and her family. Their friend is going through the last stages of cancer and it's just been hard on all of them. Thanks.

Let's Wake Up

The other day, something really awesome happened.

The story is...I lost my history book. I lost it, like, towards the beginning of the year and I had NO idea where it was. I looked EVERYWHERE. But, after looking and looking, I just gave up and wasn't going to worry about it. Well, I stopped worrying about until, of course, it came time a few days ago to turn it in before the last day of school. Well, I was praying really hard that I could find this book. And I know that's a stupid thing to pray for, but those books are like, 70 dollars!!!! I did NOT wanna pay that! So, I kept praying for like 2 weeks that this book would show up somewhere or that I wouldn't have to worry about it. Well, the day of my history final (Wednesday) my friend Kristina was sitting in class and says to me "Liz! Someone turned in your book today!" ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW! I thought that was just the coolest thing ever. I immediately thanked God for helping me out with that problem.

I guess what I was trying to say with that story, is that I'm sure...no positive God does things like that in my life ALL THE TIME and I have just never really noticed it. I don't know why this situation stuck out to me that most...maybe God made me notice it. I'm just saying that we need to WAKE UP to what God is showing us everyday. There are days that I just go by and not even notice the things that God has placed in front of me...and even sometimes I notice them, but I don't take advantage of the situation.

Prayer does work, even if that sounds cliche. I heard a story about this youth group that knew a woman that was going to get an abortion. They really wanted to save the baby. They couldn't convince the woman to reconsider. They prayed so hard for about two weeks (that was how long it had been since they found out) and they didn't think they were going to stop her. They later found out that she didn't get the abortion...she actually couldn't, she was too far along in the pregnancy. That is a beautiful story about how God is always listening and always answering.

I don't know...this was random, but I've been thinking about it for a while now. And Margret Fienburg actually mentioned something like this in her book The Organic God (and AMAZING book btw; I highly recommend it).

Just to give something to think about for the weekend, and hopefully you will start noticing God and the opportunities he give you. You gives you those as GIFTS. :)

Peace & Happy Summer!
Liz

Last Day

Today was my last day of school and, yes, I'm excited!!! This year has been a hard one, so I'm glad I don't have to stress anymore.

But the days leading up to this one have been exceptionally hard. Leaving this year behind and going onto another one is always a big deal, but also leaving behind all the new and cool friends I have made this year, especially all the seniors. I love them all so much and I will miss them a lot and I am always praying that they will have a great time in college and fulfilling life ahead.

One of the main things that was so hard for me, though, is just looking at all the people...but this is also everyday of the year. Just seeing how some of them just don't get it. They walk around and don't see any life outside of the school or their popularity or friends and they are totally missing what life is truly about. It breaks my heart...it always has. I have even made friends like that this year. They are so worried about the little things; homecoming, friends, gas, cars, girls, boys. They never think about the deep end stuff like their future or God or death or life!

I am praying for them...I am praying that high school won't continue to break my heart and I pray that this summer is the summer of change...for the better.

I hope all of you have an awesome summer...I think it's gonna be a good one. :)

Peace
Liz

Khris Stillman...My Ode To You

So, this dude I know from church told me to write a blog about him, and I agreed...So, here we go!

I actually really had no idea what I was gonna talk about...so I decided just to say some things about him. :)
I first met Khris last summer (summer '07) and the latest memory of him that I have was that he was pretty goofy!!! He always had this funny smile on his face and he was just really silly, but really nice to everyone! And he was almost like a little mini Freddy! :D
So, one day at church, he was asked to give his testimony to us and I still remember it today. And it meant a lot to me that he was so honest and vulnerable with us, but also because I felt as though I related to him very well. So, after that, I knew that I was really going to enjoy having him around. And when I found out that he was going stay all year rather than just the summer, I was so excited!!! And we have become closer...especially since we both have such great taste in music and all!!! ;)
So, Khris, this is my ode to you! You really are an amazing guy and a really great role model. You have such a passion for us kids and for Jesus and I have always seen that in you. Thanks for being around, dude!!!!!

Love
Liz!!!!

What Makes Them So Great? I'm Not Sure...

So, lately I have just been looking around my school and on Facebook of all these girls. The girls that are beautiful and have the perfect tan and perfect smile and body and the long pretty hair...and I wonder sometimes, why I'm not like them...why I'm short and pale with ordinary features and short hair!!!
I am usually quick to take that back and thank God that I am not! But, I guess what I am really trying to get at, is why are they always the ones that everyone wants to date and be friends with? Too often, I see SOOO many amazing young woman in school and at church, who I find funny and talented and beautiful, and they just get looked over by the guys and aren't the ones that everyone wants to be friends with. But, when it comes to the other girls...the kind that everyone looks like, everyone wants to be them and be like them.
Why are guys soooo interested in girls like that? Why do they choose them over the kind of girls that I know and that I am good friends with? Even I can't get a single date, when these girls go through boys like a new Hollister shirt!!! :D

It frustrates me a lot...but I know that we have something that those girls don't have and that is our faith and even our CONFIDENCE!!! Those girls are always compairing themselves and I always hear how much they hate themselves...it breaks my heart and I wish I could let them know how great my life is and how much more confidence I have through God, even though I am not exactly Barbie! I pray for those girls. And I know that us girls will get our knight in shining armor eventually...

Peace
Liz

I'm Being Vulnrable RIght Now....

This weekend, I had the worst conversation of my life...a right and wrong conversation. The problem with this is that, someone always loses and someone always wins. And conversations shouldn't be that way.The conversation started off as one person's very rude opinion of our youth pastor at church(who I ADORE) and it was a very small onversation and all I did was let him know that he was off-base and that he needs to keep things like that to himself. This QUICKLY escaladed into a full fledged argument to all that which was involved in the Facebook thread(roughly 7 to 10 people).There was some who were being very...I guess mature about the whole thing...for a while, then were getting frustrated, just as I was. Then there were others who were deffinently protecting what they think they thought they knew, if I were to use Freddy's (youth pastor) words. And that was really sad and frustrating, because there was no getting through to them...

I am disappointed in myself, because I think that there were so many aspects of this that I could've handled so differently. There are things that I said that I was proud of and that I think was handled fine, but there are other things that I said mainly because either, I wanted to be right, or they were said strictly out of frustration. I really wanted to defend Freddy. Freddy has ALWAYS been there for me and the others and loves us so much and has taught me more than I can even say and I hated that they were talking about him so negatively. It was killing me and bringing me to tears. They were also saying things like they didn't like the lighting or the atmosphere and just things like that...things that didn't fit their preferences. And I got angry, again, and told them they were being selfish and pretty much yelled at them that that wasn't what church is about. It's not about us, it's about Him. ALWAYS. Which is true, but I wasn't saying it with the most important part of the church: LOVE. There were some things that I said out of love, but a lot of it came through anger, and I am very very ashamed. I don't take back my though process of what church is really about, but I will take back the way I said it. And when I wrote the earlier blog, I was angry. And some of the things I said...could have been said differently.

So this is my official apology. I am so sorry that I was involved in the right and wrong conversation. I am sorry that I contributed for as long as I did and as much as I did and I am sorry that I let my anger and frustration get the best of me at some points. I just want a community that glorifies God, not one that is so worried about appearances or about what games we play and what attracts new people. WE, US, are the ones that should be the attraction, our community should be one of love and a glimpse of what life should really be and I feel like we could get there...we just aren't trying...we just aren't willing to learn. Be willing to learn. God can do amazing things with you all. I love you.

Peace
Liz